Fear and Clothing in the Islamic Republic

As I was preparing for my trip to Iran, numerous people asked me if I was worried about my safety. It was difficult for them to say what they thought might put me in danger while I was away, but there was definitely a sense of fear when I mentioned my trip. Now that I am home all safe and sound, I want to respond to some of these questions about fear.

There were exactly two situations that scared me when I was in Iran. The first was crossing the heavily trafficked city streets. I'm not sure what the traffic laws are in Iran but, let me tell you, it doesn't seem like many are followed! There were many occasions when we were trying to cross at least five lanes of traffic, with no stop light or crosswalk. It wasn't that we were choosing to jay-walk, it was that at many intersections lights and crosswalks simply do not exist. What is amazing though (even for someone used to crossing busy streets) is that just when I thought that I was done for, the cars stopped. They would come speeding up and then, at the last split-second, hit the brakes. It took some getting used to but, by the end of the trip, I had become a pro at putting my hand out (I had observed someone do this and since they got a good response I thought I'd try it) and just going. It was absolutely terrifying, but I made it through unscathed! Another interesting thing about the traffic, is that there is virtually no road rage. Drivers don't get flustered when a motorbike cuts them off, or get angry when the front bumper of another car is mere inches away from the driver's side door. The lack of road rage allows the traffic to work the way it does, and although to an outsider it seems insane, somehow it all works.

The other terrifying situation was when we were at a small amusement area with carnival rides in one of the beautiful city parks in Tehran. (Side note: the Tehran metro area has over 800 parks and gardens - the few I was lucky to visit were all absolutely gorgeous and very well maintained. It is no surprise that the word paradise entered the English language via an old Persian word, pardis, meaning a beautiful garden enclosed by walls, specifically royal parks and menageries. Even now, many of Tehran's public parks have small zoos in them.)

Anyway, back to the carnival rides. Some of the people we were with (cousins, of course) convinced me and Nima to go on what I call "the pirate ship ride." It was one of those rides that is the shape of a ship that swings back and forth so that the riders sit facing one another and swing back and forth until they are somewhat horizontal, facing down when their side of the ship reaches the apex of the swing. This one wasn't actually in the shape of a pirate ship; it was a two-headed dragon. The reason that I call it the pirate ship ride is because, when I was a kid, I went on a pirate ship version. Once the ride began, I was screaming at the top of my lungs within seconds. As the ride picked up speed, I became so hysterical that my mother had to make the ride operator stop the ride and let me off. I swore I'd never go on such a ride again. However, when confronted with peer-pressuring Iranian cousins, I caved.

It was an absolute nightmare. I am proud to say that, this time, I didn't scream and beg to be let off, but I swear it was the longest ride I've ever been on and I spent most of it with my head buried in Nima's shoulder, grabbing his arm while he repeated, "Isn't this over yet?" It was unnecessarily long, but as with the traffic, I made it through unharmed and am all the braver for it.

Other than the situations mentioned above, I felt safer during my eighteen days in Iran than I sometimes do here in New York City. There does not seem to be the same fear of potential violence there that there is here. When walking around the cities we visited we saw some cops and some military personnel, but the only firearms I saw were on three security officers, each of whom was on guard duty outside police precincts. Service in the armed forces is required for all young men in Iran, but they were so unassuming and their lack of weapons made them totally nonthreatening especially when you compare them to the menacing soldiers carrying semi-automatic weapons in Manhattan's Grand Central Terminal or in all US airports. In fact, few of the military personnel we saw actually seemed to be on duty - they just happened to be stationed nearby. Even though Iran does have a large military, every single member is based within the borders of Iran, as Iran isn't currently occupying foreign countries and doesn't have any foreign military bases. In contrast, the US is currently occupying the two countries on either side of Iran, has over 700 military bases in more than 60 countries around the world, and its military budget is over 70 times larger than Iran's.

Incidentally, whereas I didn't notice any armed guards in Khomeini International Airport in Tehran, we saw plenty of guns in Heathrow in London, and all of our carry-on luggage was emptied and searched (they did this to everyone and it had nothing to do with where we happened to be coming from).

It seemed to me that the Iranian government, though perhaps wary (rightly so, given both the historical record and current events) about US and UK government meddling in internal Iranian affairs, doesn't constantly employ scare tactics to frighten its citizens and marginalize certain minority groups and foreign visitors. For instance, officials in the Iranian government often speak confidently about defending the country and its citizens against foreign attacks and its ability to fight back against any military invasion, while insisting it will never preemptively strike another country. This rhetoric may seem overconfident and unrealistic to some who worry about the potential military aggression and capability of certain Western states, but promotes self-defense over fear-mongering. As a result, Iranians appeared to be far less paranoid about domestic security issues than people in Europe and the United States, even though Iran is literally surrounded on all sides by US troops, nuclear weapons states, and has suffered many more successful terrorist attacks carried out by violent dissident groups (funded by the US government) in recent years than have Western countries, including the US.

This seems to me to be the exact opposite of what our government and media says and does. We're constantly warned that we might be attacked anywhere at any time and so Americans wind up being more paranoid and feeling threatened by things that don't actually exist.

Tehran is truly the city that never sleeps. There are always many people out and about, no matter what time of day or night. As we explored the city, we learned from people we spoke with (and also observed ourselves) that it is safe for women in Tehran to walk down the street, alone, at any hour, without being in danger. I wonder if this sense of security comes from Iran being an Islamic country. A man attacking a woman would be such a breach of the values upon which the country is based (not to say it never happens, of course.) But it goes beyond the criminal act of violating or hurting another person. It violates a set of deeply-held religious beliefs that truly seem to guide the actions of many of Iran's people.

I've mentioned this in an earlier post, but I feel it is worth revisiting. Many women in Iran don't seem to fear pushing the envelope when it comes to the hijab laws. Young women walk by police officers and soldiers with their scarves barely covering their hair and skintight jackets and no one bats an eyelash.

On a similar note, we've heard here in the US that couples who are not married get in serious trouble if they are seen touching each other or being affectionate in public. We saw many young couples walking down the street hand-in-hand, leaning on each other on the Metro, and even kissing on park benches. Granted, some of them may have been married, but I think it is safe to say that not all were, and they did not seem particularly worried about being noticed.

Another question I've received regarding fear, is whether or not Iranians were afraid to speak their minds, especially if their personal, religious, or political beliefs were drastically different than those of the current administration - or opposed to the entire system of government as a whole. Of all the people we spoke with, from close family members to urban college students to taxi drivers to bazaar merchants to complete strangers on the street, never once did I feel a sense of fear or censorship from anyone. As here in America, people have all sorts of political ideas. I met people who were frustrated by the government and many who were very pleased. What amazed me was that everyone who had a political opinion (which was literally everyone) had clear reasons why they felt a certain way and could apply their own feelings, frustrations, and preferences to their own lives with well thought-out rationale and real life examples. Very few people seemed swayed by talking points or propaganda and everyone seemed fairly well-versed on international law, world history (and especially Iranian history), and current events - both domestic and foreign. Throughout these conversations, we heard criticisms of elected officials, religious leaders, government policies and laws, as well as ringing endorsements of all of the above, and no one was shy about sharing them with us - even if they had just met us thirty seconds earlier.

One person we spoke with mentioned that he felt that if defeated presidential candidate and arguable leader of the reformist Green Movement, Mir-Hossein Mousavi, had been elected, he would have dismantled many of the religious laws such as hijab but couldn't say what he really believed during the campaign out of fear of what the Islamic government would do to him if he did speak out. However, we didn't hear that viewpoint from anyone else, including other people who said they voted for Mousavi last year.

Similarly, we heard a suggestion from someone who currently works with the Tehran-based English-language news outlet PressTV, that some of President Ahmadinejad's top advisors (and perhaps even Ahmadinejad himself) are opponents of certain strict Islamic laws, but have no power to address them since that authority unfortunately lies in the hands of the religious leadership, not the executive, legislative, or judicial. For instance, back in 2006, shortly after he was first elected, Ahmadinejad tried to lift the ban on women entering stadiums to watch football matches but was met with sharp opposition from the clerical leadership.

To us, people seemed anything but scared to tell us what they thought of their government, regardless of whether it was positive or negative. Everyone we met was not only well-informed, but eager to share their thoughts on the state of Iran and last year's election (only one person out of dozens that we spoke with believed the vote was fixed). Most people who were living in Iran during the time of the Shah's US-backed dictatorship said that people now are more free and less afraid to criticize the government than they ever were then.

As you can see, I didn't come across much fear, mine or other people's, while I was in Iran.

Video of our trip!

Nima worked for hours and hours to cut together this incredible video. Please pass it on to anyone you think may be interested. There is a full screen option right next to the progress bar on the bottom of the video. Be sure to watch it in full screen and turn up the volume!

I have another post that I'm in the process of editing so there will be more to read soon!



Here's the direct link: Our Trip to Iran

Back in NYC

Hello from Brooklyn! Nima and I got back to New York on Tuesday night, and I'm just finally starting to adjust to being back. Sorry that I haven't posted anything new, but we've been busy sorting through our 3000+ photos and getting used to hearing people speak English again! I'll post a link to the photos once we've edited a bit.

I'm working on a new post so check back again soon!

Signing off from Iran

This is going to be my last post from Iran! I cannot believe that our trip is over already. I feel like I’ve known the family here forever and I can’t imagine leaving not knowing when (or if) I’ll ever see them again. I’m going to miss them so much! I really don’t want to say good-bye. I’ve formed some strong bonds, especially with some of the girls, and I know that I’m going to be really emotional when I have to leave.

There is still so much I want to write about and share with everyone, so I’m planning on writing a lot more when we get back. There is so much to tell you about the people I’ve met and the places I’ve seen as well as about observations I’ve made about this amazing country. If there are any specific questions you have please let me know and I’ll try to answer them in later posts.

I’ll see you all soon!

From Shiraz to Esfahan: People and Places

As you know from my last post, on Saturday we left Tehran and headed south for some traveling in Shiraz and Esfahan. Both cities are quite different from Tehran, and from each other, but all three have incredible things to offer.

In Tehran, our time was (and will be when we return on Thursday morning) primarily devoted to spending time with family. We did some sight-seeing last week, but we always had a number of family members with us, so it was less about the place and more about the people. Now that we are not with the family, I’ve had a chance to experience these two other cities in a much different way.

We arrived in Shiraz at about 10:00am on Saturday morning. My first impression of the city was that it was absolutely beautiful, and that was just at the bus terminal. (The three Iranian bus terminals I’ve been to really put Port Authority to shame!) Most of the terminal is out in the open and have fountains and flowerbeds all over. It was so welcoming right from the beginning!

As it turns out, the city itself is also pretty welcoming. As opposed to Tehran, which is a huge metropolis of 14 million people (more than the entire population of Greece or every single US state – not combined – with the exception of California, Texas, New York, and Florida!), Shiraz feels more like a college town (which it is). It is filled with young students who seem to be everywhere! The general atmosphere was relaxed and open. I noticed fewer women in chadors that I had in Tehran, and there were lots of brightly colored scarves and manteaus.

The people we met (with the exception of one grouchy cab driver) were all incredibly kind. Nima went down into the lobby of our hotel our first night there and when the young computer tech guy heard him speaking English, all he wanted to do was chat! It turned out he was a 21-year-old college student who works seven nights a week in order to make his car payments. He is also a graphic designer. His English was amazing and he was so happy to be able to practice with Nima. The second night we were there, we all ended up down in the lobby and spoke with him for quite a while about politics (US and Iranian), his job, his family, his university studies, his feelings about Iran’s religious laws, and his favorite TV show, Friends. As we were getting ready to head back to our rooms to go to sleep, he gave Nima his cell phone number and told him that if we have any problems at all while we’re in Shiraz, we should just call him. He meant it too! In the end he didn’t even let us pay for the internet we used (which is how we met him to begin with). When it was time for us to check out of the hotel, he gave us his address so that we can mail him a real letter, as opposed to just emailing, when we get back home.

When we went to the tombs of Sa’di and Hafez, we had another experience with incredibly warm, curious and welcoming people. A group of young women at Hafez’s tomb noticed us right away. After a couple of minutes of getting up their nerve, they came over and started speaking to us in Farsi. They asked if we were Arabs! We found that funny (I mean, just look at me) but they were from Sistan-Baluchistan (a province in Southeastern Iran) and knew we looked different, but couldn’t figure out where we could possibly be from. They were shocked to learn we were from the US. One of them asked to take a picture of us so that her mother would believe her when she told her the story.

When we went to the tomb of Sa’di, two other people approached us separately. One was another young woman who heard us speaking English and wanted to say hello, find out where we were from, and take a picture. She was thrilled to find out that we were from America and happily shared the information with the people she was with. The other was a young man who wants to be an actor. For the most part, he talked about acting, but as with the other people we encountered, he was also excited to find out that we were American.

When we were at Persepolis, we met three or four other groups of people from all over Iran who wanted to chat with us. They were all eager to hear our thoughts about Iran, and many of them offered us places to stay and insisted that we change our travel plans to stay with them and were already planning on changing their own just to accommodate us. They weren’t just saying these things to be nice or as empty offers of pretend hospitality. They literally meant that they would change their plans so that we could see where they lived and stay with them. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to take them up on their invitations…maybe next time. We exchanged email addresses with some, and took pictures with all! Iranians (especially in Shiraz) are just the nicest, most welcoming people I’ve ever encountered!

On our last day in Shiraz, as we were leaving a shrine (like a mosque, but with a tomb inside), Nima’s father asked a police officer for directions to get us to a beautiful garden across town. The cop pointed to a taxi stand close by, but none of the cabs would take us because of the direction we were going. The cop saw our failed attempts, then came over to where we were standing. He hailed a cab himself, spoke to the driver to make sure he’d charge us a fair price (there are no meters in Iran, just flat rates agreed upon at the beginning of the trip) and sent us on our way. I have never seen a cop in the US (or anywhere other than Shiraz for that matter) do anything like that! It was amazing!

This morning, when we arrived in Esfahan after a six hour bus ride from Shiraz, there was definitely a different feel. It isn’t that people here aren’t nice; it is that they just don’t seem to be (or at least haven’t yet been) as open or welcoming as in Shiraz. The city in general feels more conservative. It is a business town as opposed to a college town. People aren’t dressed in bright colors, and we haven’t had any encounters with people approaching us to talk or help us out (except for a young woman in a riverside park who heard us speaking English and shyly said “hello, how are you?” in her Iranian accent as we passed). We have another day here tomorrow so maybe something will change, but for the most part the people in Esfahan are more serious and keep to themselves more than in Shiraz. This makes me even happier being a Shirazi, instead of an Esfahani!

Although I’m writing about people in this post, I simply cannot write from Esfahan without mentioning how incredibly beautiful the city is. Today we spent time at the Si-Oh-Seh Bridge (Bridge of 33 Arches) and Naghsh-e Jahan Square. When we were at the bridge – which is really impressive and was built between 1599 and 1602 - Nima and I shot a three-minute video to send to my students who have been learning about bridges!

Naghsh-e Jahan Square is one of the largest civic squares in the world and is surrounded on all sides by buildings from the Safavid Empire. The Imam Mosque (formerly called the Shah Mosque), Ali Qapu Palace, and Sheikh Lotf Allah Mosque are all absolutely amazing buildings built in the late 16th/early 17th century. Basically, it is a huge, green square with beautiful fountains surrounded by a number of mosques, a palace and a gigantic old bazaar. The mosques are immense and the outsides’ are ornately decorated with rich, bright blues and greens with floral details. They are unlike anything I’ve ever seen! I could have just sat and looked at the buildings for hours! We’re going to go inside the mosques tomorrow, so I’ll update you on that as soon as I can. There has been a picture of one of the mosques hanging in my living room (which is also at the top of my blog) for years from when Nima was here five years ago, and now I’ve finally seen it first hand.

The square and Persepolis are arguably the most visited tourist attractions in Iran and are both UNESCO World Heritage sites. Even though there aren’t too many international tourists in Iran in general, we have come across a few different groups – mostly Germans - in these places. The funny thing is, I have the same reaction to tourists here as I do when I’m at home in New York. I just want them to leave so that I don’t have to be bothered with them! I guess my love for Iran has really taken hold because, even though I am myself a tourist here, I feel a sense of connection to this incredible country and I want to enjoy it without outside intruders getting in my way!

We’re headed back to the family in Tehran on a late bus tomorrow evening. Things might be pretty busy from now on since we’ll be approaching the end of our visit (only one week to go), but I still plan to get another post or two up before we head home.

Thanks again for reading everyone!

Shirazis in Shiraz...and more

Hello again! The hotel we’re in here in Shiraz has internet, so I’m able to post something!

We arrived in Shiraz yesterday after a 12 hour bus ride from Tehran. Shiraz is the second city I've been to in Iran, and it definitely feels different than Tehran. It's smaller and slightly less busy, but it is a college town so there are still a lot of people around! Since we've been here so many people (mostly young women and girls) have come up to me wanting to say hello in English. They also love to take pictures with me and just want to practice their English. Even just walking down the street people have yelled "Hello! I love you!" when they hear me speaking English and notice that I'm definitely not from around here. It is so sad that no one in the US realizes how warm and welcoming the people are here. I hope that I can help people to understand that people here do not hate Americans. They are so proud of their country and are so happy when they encounter travelers who appreciate the beauty and history of Iran.

Today, we went to the tombs of Persian poets Sa'di and Hafez where there are amazing gardens with places to sit and reflect. It is very peaceful and relaxing and beautiful places to spend the afternoon. Today we went to Persepolis, known here as Takht-e Jamshid. We saw the ancient ruins of the palaces of Darius and Xerxes, which are about 2500 years old! I've never seen any ancient ruins so this was quite a way to start!

Also, I have been wanting to address the subject of women in Iran since I arrived because I know so many people have questions and concerns about it and wondered what my experience would be.

Here is a little taste of what I have observed and experienced since we arrived a week and a half ago.

First and foremost, I have felt completely comfortable as a woman traveling in this country. I’ve been wearing scarves and long shirts (for those of you keeping up, the clothing I bought and borrowed before I came has been perfect) and I think I’m fitting in as much as I can for a khareji (foreigner) – even though the colloquial term is farangi, which literally means “French.”

I thought I would have a hard time wearing hijab whenever we were out in public, but it actually isn’t really bothering me that much! Sure, it’s a little annoying in the heat, but other than that it is just kind of something I have to do and, aside from worrying that it is falling off, I don’t really think all that much about it. It actually proved to be a tool for bonding with some of the younger women of the family, who like to help me make sure I’m wearing the right way.

Something that is absolutely incredible is the variation in how different women choose to dress. I’ve seen both extremes: women who wear chador every time they leave the house (and even when they are in their own homes with men with whom they are not closely related) to women who have the front of their hair in a big bump with their scarf sitting somewhere between that and a high bun at the back or their heads. The scarves are literally barely there and, more often than not, these women are wearing skintight, form-fitting manteaus (the cute mid-length shirt-like jacket that comes down to just above the knee) and a ton of makeup! When I say a ton (and I don’t mean every woman, of course) I mean caked-on foundation with intense eyeliner, mascara and eye shadow. It really is quite something.

It also seems like every other women (and many men as well) have had nose jobs! I was shocked when I saw highlighted and dyed hair poofing out of the scarves, not just a little bit, but to the point where much more of the hair was uncovered than covered! They make me feel like I’m being conservative!

I know that something that is written and talked about a lot in the US is that women are treated very badly for this type of attire. But, while being here myself, I have seen women hardly wearing hijab walk right by cops without any problem. What I’ve been told by women in my family is that, at most, if an authority figure sees a woman who they think is not covered enough, they will point it out and say “Sister, be modest,” and then move on. If they honestly arrested every woman who pushed the limits, the jails would be full constantly and the city would go broke!

These women aren’t trying to hide it or sneak around; they are dressing this way in public, both in the more uptown, chic neighborhoods and in the more traditional neighborhoods as well. While these women are not uncommon, there are also many women walking around in chador. I keep finding myself thinking how annoying it must be to walk around like that, but then I remind myself that they have chosen to do so. While the laws about dress are frustrating and something I would never support, it is important to remember that, within the boundaries of wearing hijab, women can chose what they wear and can push the envelope, dress incredibly religiously or find something in the middle.

I do see a problem for the women who are members of very religious families but who want to be more open and separate their religion from government imposed laws. Our family here happens to be very religious. Many of the women are like those I described above who wear chador out of the house and in their own homes around men with whom they are not incredibly closely related. Nima hasn’t even seen many of his close family members – first cousins and their children! - without their chadors.

However, there are some younger women in the family who want to be more liberal with the way they dress and in their interactions with men, especially those to whom they are related! One quick family example is one of the daughters of Nima’s cousin. She is about my age and married and her mother is the most religious woman in the whole family. Nevertheless, this young woman does not want to follow in her mother’s footsteps. The first night we were in Tehran, she walked into the room where we were, threw off her chador and revealed her long black hair, a beautiful yellow and silver tank top, shook Nima’s hand, and posed for a camera with her arm around Nima. For a woman who is Nima’s first cousin once removed, this is not allowed, and her mother would have been incredibly upset if she had seen it (she didn’t).

However, she chose to do that just the same because she wants her life to be different. The challenge for her is that she wants to show respect to her family (which is incredibly important here) so she must at least play the part of a more religiously conservative woman and wear the proper clothing when they are around. That is absolutely infuriating and incredibly frustrating for her and her husband (who is also fed up with the religious laws). It makes me so angry to think about how she has to led this sort of double life. It is so incredible restrictive for her, but it is because of the culture of her family and not because of the laws of the Iranian government. The whole dynamic is fascinating and I wish she and I could talk more about it –the language barrier makes deep conversations a little tough.

Something that we’ve been talking about a lot is the following question: If the law were changed and tomorrow morning there was an announcement that hijab is no longer required, what would people do? Based on people in our family, and people we see on the street dressed in the most conservative clothing, our estimate is that about 70% of women wouldn’t change a think about what they wear regardless of what the laws were! For some people it is all they know, so they can’t even imagine life without it. For others, they lived in Iran before the laws existed, but do not have problems them. Then there are the people who would, without a doubt, throw their scarves off and never wear them again. I just wish that it actually were a possibility that that announcement would be made.

It has also been my experience that, in general, women are treated with respect by men in public places. Men are always insisting that women go first through doorways and, on the subways, consistently offer women their seats. It is not like in NYC where you have to be 8 months pregnant or 95 years old to be offered a seat! I definitely can’t complain about that one.

There are, however, some interesting contradictions where women and girls are concerned. On public buses, men and women are separated. On some buses, men are in the back and women in the front, and on others, women are in back and men are in front. (This actually started many years ago to protect women from the unwanted touch of aggressive men.) However, on the Metro, which is new (and totally amazing), men and women ride in the same car and are crammed together at rush hour. There is a women’s only car but it is a choice for women to make for themselves if they don’t want to ride with men.

Also, men seem to work at most of the clothing stores and even fit women for chadors! The best way for me to summarize the confusion and ridiculous rules about women and clothing is what one of our 13-year-old family members said. She is a serious and intense girl, but is sweet and wonderful at the same time. She is incredibly smart and is part of an especially religious part of the family. A few days ago, she had been sleeping in the other room when we were all eating breakfast and her aunt went into the room and, in an endearing way of trying to wake her up, said “Stop hiding yourself! You’re so beautiful, come out so you can be seen!” Her amazingly astute response was: “They keep telling me that, because I’m so beautiful, I have to hide myself.”

That’s the problem in a nutshell.

Travel update

Hi everyone!

We are getting ready to head south for a few days so I may be out of touch. Our hotels may have internet but we're not sure so we'll just have to see!

Nima and I have already taken over 600 photos! There is just so much to look at! We'll do some major editing and post all of our favorites when we get back.

I can't even begin to tell you how incredible everything is. I have so many ideas of things I want to write about, but there literally isn't any time. We've been going to bed between 3:30 and 5am and all we've been doing at night is going to have dinner at different people's homes. Anyway, I may end up posting most of my thoughts when we get back to New York, but I'll keep trying to update you from here.

I'll be in touch soon!