2 weeks and counting!

Hello! Welcome to my very first blog post! Usually I leave the writing to Nima, but this is something that I feel I want to document myself and share with people.

As you probably know by now, my husband Nima and I are heading to Iran with his parents to meet the hundreds of relatives on his father's side of the family. We'll be in Tehran for a total of about two weeks, and will be traveling to Shiraz, Esfahan, and Persepolis for about a week. I'm hoping to be able to write and update you all while we're gone, but if not, I'll post everything when we get back. As I'm trying to prepare for this amazing three week trip to Iran, there has been a lot to figure out and deal with. Some of it is the typical stress of going away for three weeks: What if I'm allergic to something? How much Benadryl does one need? What if I can't sleep? What if something I eat upsets my stomach? A trip to CVS should help me with that, but it is just a lot to plan!

Then there's the fact that Nima and I have been working on our Farsi, but I fear we've been a little too laid back lately and I'm not confident with my language skills at all. I have some key phrases to say that I hope will wow my relatives, but other than that I plan to do a lot of smiling, nodding and repeating words that seem appropriate. We'll see how that goes!

Recently, my focus has been on figuring out what clothes I need to bring with me. The rules aren't as strict as I had originally thought. I don't want to turn this into a lecture or an essay about women in Iran, but I would just like to assure those who are worried, that women in Iran do have to cover up, but they don't wear burqas (like in Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan) and are not required to wear full chadors, which are the almost sheet-like full coverage (except for the face) garments that you may see some Iranian women wearing in pictures. The law is that women wear scarves to cover their hair, cover their arms up to the elbows, and to have their bottoms covered. As you can see from the pictures, many women have their scarves sitting right on their buns with the front of the head completely exposed. There is a difference between what is required and what many of the more religious women choose to wear. However, it recently occurred to me I had nothing that fit the "past the elbows and covering the butt" rule! I tried looking online and ordered a few things from official "Islamic clothing for women" websites, but in the end they weren't quite right. As it turned out, H&M saved the day! Just when I thought I was all set I looked at the weather forecast...it's over 80 degrees in Tehran this week! So, of course, I just had to order a few more, light-weight things. I think I'm all set now, though. Of course, I don't think there should be any laws about clothing, but I am relieved that I'm not traveling to Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan! I can show my face, my hair, and even brightly colored toenails, if I'm so inclined.

I happen to really like the little manteau shirt/jackets that are in style in Iran these days and was really excited to have an excuse to buy some of my own. I find them really flattering and I've already been wearing them around Brooklyn. I also think the hijab (head scarf) is really beautiful. The colors and textures can be really incredible and, honestly, I think that the way they frame the face is really attractive. I was talking to some friends about it recently, and all three of us agreed that in a way they are even kind of sexy! It is crazy that something that in its true form is meant to be modest actually seems kind of seductive, in a way. I'm really looking forward to seeing what it is really like to wear one. The only thing I am worried about is my comfort level. I have never enjoyed having things around my neck, and it wasn't until recently that I even started wearing a scarf in the winter time. I do have some beautiful scarves to bring though which hopefully won't slip off of my head the whole time. I hear even the Iranian women have a tough time keeping them situated, so all of the futzing I'll have to be doing won't be a problem.

Interestingly enough, make up and designer jeans are of incredibly high importance in Iran. I definitely need to practice my mascara wearing skills if I'm going to keep up! It makes sense, if you think about it. When most of your body is covered up, you need to accentuate the parts that aren't. The sad part of that is that, along with the jeans and make up, nose jobs are also incredibly popular. While I'm not a big fan of plastic surgery, I can totally understand why this is the trend.

An experience I'm really looking forward to is the time I'll spend with just the women in the family. From what my mother-in-law has told me, things are very different when there are no men around. As a rule, the only men I can physically touch are my husband Nima and my father-in-law. That is going to be really strange for me, I think. It will be difficult to meet someone and not shake their hand or give them a hug. I suppose I'll get used to it, but I think it will feel really unnatural to me at first. (Similarly, Nima isn't able to touch any of the women, except for his mother, his aunt, and me. That even includes his female first cousins who are thirty years older than he is and are now grandparents! This was very difficult for Nima during his last trip...but it makes the rare instances of breaking the rules all the more exciting and emotional.)

When it is just the women, though, I won't have to worry about all that, or my scarf or what I'm wearing. I imagine that the women there have a very close bond because there are a lot of things that they can do as a group, that they can't do with men around. I think just the letting go of some of the rules, uncovering and showing their style is really important for them to do together. I know that I have some cousins who are looking forward to taking me shopping. I'll keep you all posted, but I think that is going to be a pretty amazing experience.

The most difficult part of preparing for this trip has really been building for a while. This trip has been in the works, literally, for years. When Nima went to Iran for his first visit, five years ago, he came back with pictures and stories that made me realize I needed to go at some point in my life. Since we've gotten married, it has been a priority of mine to figure out a time when it would be feasible for me to go. I was actually the one who pushed for this trip to happen this year! Throughout these past few years, I have spoken to many people about my hopes to travel to Iran. The reactions I've gotten have ranged from rude and dismissive, to supportive, curious and excited. The most frustrating responses I've gotten have been something along the lines of, "Why would you ever want to go there?" The simple answer is: "Why wouldn't I?"

I have family there. My husband's father was born and raised there. Iran is an important part of Nima's life and has become an important part of mine. What many people don't seem to realize is that, not only is Iran a beautiful country with a history and culture that is older than most other countries in the world, but it is also a place to which Nima feels very strongly connected. It is truly a part of who he is and, because of that, I too feel connected. I want to see this incredible country, not only to meet my new relatives, but also to experience the culture. Over the past few years, I've read books and articles and watched movies and television programs about Iran and what always stands out is how wonderfully welcoming and kind the Iranian people are. I want to experience that first hand.

As a side note, if you want to check out some of my favorites, they are: Mirrors of the Unseen: Journeys in Iran by Jason Elliot (here's a book review), In Defense of Iran: Notes from a U.S. Peace Delegation's Journey through the Islamic Republic by Phil Wilayto, and the Rick Steves travel video called Iran: Yesterday and Today (you can watch the whole thing on Hulu!).

There are also some people in my life who, while they understand why I am going, are simply concerned, and I completely understand that. So much of what people, especially in the US, read, hear, and see on TV about Iran is negative. Iran is portrayed as the number one enemy of the United States. It is hard to see that and then learn someone you care about is going there.

Then there are the people who are excited for me, eager to hear about what I see and learn, and seem to think that this trip is an incredible opportunity for me. I've even heard "Wow that is amazing, I wish I could come!"

The three types of reactions I've just described are clearly just the extremes, and many people feel a combination of all three, but these reactions, especially of those I care about, have really impacted me over the years. I've always been excited to go, but I've been anxious about talking to the people who aren't so supportive of this trip. I have to admit that many times I've gone out of my way to avoid conversations about my trip with certain people. I want my friends and family to be excited and understand my reasons for going, but I've also had to remember that it may be hard for them to do so. I have experienced a range of emotions myself throughout the entire planning process, and I'm sure the same will be true when I'm there. I am not worried about feeling unsafe or uncomfortable, but I do realize that because I haven't been there yet, I may experience something different from what I am expecting. I truly don't know what my experience will be. What I do know is that I'm going with an open mind and plan to write and speak honestly and openly about whatever that experience turns out to be.

Please feel free to share this with anyone you feel might enjoy reading it! I welcome any questions or comments you have as you read, and I hope you enjoy reading about my adventures in Iran!